Is Public Speaking a Comfort to You?

“The more you seek the uncomfortable, the more you will become comfortable.” – Conor MacGregor, Irish mixed martial artist

What do you think about what’s possible when you hear this question?: Is public speaking a comfort to me?

You may be saying, “You have got to be kidding. I am fearful of speaking in public.” You would be right.

However, weren’t you fearful when you were going to your first movie in a theater when you were five years old, learning to ride a bike when you were six, or tasting your first tea when you were nine? Of course, you were.

But don’t you take comfort in riding a bike, drinking tea, and going to the movies at a theater now?

The same feeling of comfort you have with those life experiences you can have as a speaker.

Below are three comforts you can get from speaking to your audiences:

Self-Expression and Empowerment

A yearning fundamental to all of us is expressing ourselves fully, feeling we are in control of our lives. Speaking to an audience will help fulfill this yearning.

Speaking to an audience provides you with an opportunity to express yourself.

The positive reactions the audience sends you gives you confidence in who you are, not just in your speaking. The confidence you receive from speaking to an audience also “spills over” into your personal and professional lives.

You and others will find you more positive, accepting of others, and just fun to be around.

It’s true. Positive people attract other positive people. I, for one, will always make time to talk to positive people. Being positive draws others into the conversation.

So your self-expression through your speaking empowers you, which will comfort you.

Another comfort from your speaking is the knowledge through your speaking that you are personally growing and developing into the person you want to be

Personal Growth and Development

Another human yearning is to grow into the person you want to be inside and outside. As before, you develop confidence by speaking in public. This confidence will grow in other areas of your life also.

Who knows?

Public speaking can give you the confidence to pursue that degree program you have been putting off for years.

It could make you ask that remarkable man or woman for a date.

It could even make you believe you can do something you once thought was impossible.

Your personal growth and development are also caused by what you learn from your audiences.

Some speakers think only the audience is doing the learning in a presentation. However, you, as a speaker, are also learning.

Nothing turns off an audience more than a “know-it-all” speaker. Don’t be this kind of speaker. Remember, you only learn from listening. Listen to your audience and what they can contribute to your presentation topic.

So your self-expression through your speaking empowers you while the knowledge through your speaking allows you to grow personally and develop into the person you want to be will be a comfort to you.

You are a social being, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. Through your speaking, you satisfy one of the other basic human needs: connecting with others and positively impacting their lives.

Connection and Impact

Your connection to others and positively impacting their lives is a need all of us have. That is why the connection to your audience should comfort you. Whether they affirm or challenge what you are saying, you are still making a connection and impact on your audience.

One of the best ways to connect with your audience and positively impact them is to encourage audience questions. Many speakers cringe at the thought of audience questions. I don’t know why. What your audience is thinking about your speaking topic is like mining in a pure vein of gold.

Some speakers request the audience to hold all their questions to the question-and-answer period after their presentation. I believe this is a big mistake.

You have your slides, you know what you want to say, and you might think these are the most essential parts of your presentation to your audience. Then your audience asks questions, and you discover they want something different or something extra above your presentation. It is best to determine this during your presentation and not after.

If you wait until the end of your presentation for audience questions, you will not know whether your presentation “hits the mark” with them. What do you do when you find out in the question and answer period in the end that your presentation was “off the mark” with your audience? You can then do nothing about your presentation to make your topic more relevant to your audience because you have already delivered it. You have lost a golden opportunity to make your presentation more valuable to your audience.

It is better to encourage questions during your presentation so you can “on the fly” adjust it to fulfill better what your audience wants and needs.

When you give a presentation, you are not just a “talking head.” You are a speaker, but you are also a presentation investigator probing your audience to make your presentation more relevant and memorable for them.

By making your presentation more relevant and memorable for your audience, you will more significantly impact them.

Knowing you have succeeded in giving your audience information they can use to better their personal and professional lives will be a comfort to you.

Your self-expression through your speaking empowers you. The knowledge you impart to your audience through your speaking allows you to personally grow and develop into the person you want to be. Your connection to your audience through their questions positively impacts their personal and professional lives.

You are a social being, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. Through your speaking, you satisfy one of the other basic human needs: connecting with others and positively impacting their lives.

Make your public speaking a comfort for you!

Call to Action

• Speak often to exercise your self-expression and empower yourself in your speaking and other areas of your personal and professional lives

• Grow and develop into the person you want to be by speaking often

• Use audience questions throughout your presentations to make your presentation more relevant and have a more significant impact on your audience’s personal and professional lives

“Do one thing every day that scares you.” – Eleanor Roosevelt, former first lady of the United States

Frank DiBartolomeo is a retired U.S. Air Force Lieutenant Colonel and award-winning speaker, presentation and interview skills coach, and Professional Member of the National Speakers Association. He was awarded Toastmasters International’s highest individual award, Distinguished Toastmaster because of his outstanding work in public speaking and leadership.

Frank formed DiBartolomeo Consulting International (DCI), LLC (www.speakleadandsucceed.com) in 2007. The mission of DCI is to help technical professionals to inspire, motivate, and influence their colleagues and other technical professionals by improving their presentation skills, communication, and personal presence. Reach Frank at frank@speakleadandsucceed.com and (703) 509-4424.

Don’t miss Frank DiBartolomeo’s latest book!

“Speak Well and Prosper: Tips, Tools, and Techniques for Better Presentations”

Available now at Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com