Pay Your Speaking Forward
“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.”
– Maya AngelouYou have probably heard the expression “Pay it forward.” This means when someone does you a favor, you do a favor for a different person or group instead of returning the favor to the original person.
I was recently invited to serve as the Grammarian at a bilingual Toastmasters Club in my area. I was doing a favor for someone who met me at a Toastmasters training the previous week. The Club President and everyone in the Club thanked me many times during the meeting. I was glad to help out.
Now, what are the chances those Club members will be paying my favor forward to someone else? The chances are high.
Have you ever thought of how your speaking is paying it forward from favors you have received in your past?
Below I explore three aspects of paying your speaking forward.
Offering Help
My above example of paying my speaking forward to the Toastmaster Club shows that people always watch you even if you don’t know it. At the previous week’s Toastmasters training, something about what I said or something in my body language prompted the Toastmasters Club member to contact me to ask if I could be the Grammarian at her Toastmasters Club meeting.
This happens more often than you might think when you open yourself to the various groups in which you interact. Don’t be shy to tell these groups about yourself. There may be someone you can help or someone who can help you. Paying it forward works in both directions.
However, the best way to pay it forward is not to wait to be asked to offer help. It is to be proactive and offer help before you are asked. After interacting with a group for a while, you will learn where help is needed. Offer the required help.
So offering help is one aspect of paying your speaking forward. Another aspect is reciprocity.
Reciprocity
As an entrepreneur, I know specific laws of human nature are as predictable as the sun rising in the morning. In business, entrepreneurs use these laws in marketing and sales to increase revenue. Some of these human nature laws are scarcity, authority, and reciprocity. Let’s concentrate on reciprocity and how it applies to paying your speaking forward.
I am taking an educated guess, but I believe you would say if we all helped each other more, we would all lead happier lives. I will tell you how you can increase all of us helping each other significantly. Taking a page from business, we can use reciprocity to do this.
Reciprocity is the tendency of all of us to want to repay a favor done for us. However, sometimes you may not be able to return the favor to the person who did you a favor. In this case, simply pay the favor forward.
As speakers, we return the favor of every speaker who has ever helped their audiences. Have you ever thought of this? Just by speaking, you are paying it forward.
So, now you know offering your help and reciprocity are two aspects of paying your speaking forward.
Maybe the most important aspect of paying your speaking forward is you are directly contributing to a better world for all of us.
A Better World
We all have a basic human need to better ourselves. But did you know another way to better ourselves is to better other fellow human beings? Paying your speaking forward does this.
When you speak, you are contributing to a better world. You are teaching others something that they can use to improve their personal and professional lives.
I speak on the importance of great speaking, preparing and delivering presentations, and how to become an outstanding speaker. However, I am really selling the feeling your audience members will get transforming from a mediocre speaker to a passable speaker to an exceptional speaker.
Think about it. When you work on your speaking ability, you get noticed. You might be asked to work on that new project or get a raise in salary or get that promotion for which you have worked so hard. Your salary goes up, allowing you and your family to move into a better part of town or buy that sorely needed second car or take that vacation to Cancun, Mexico, or a thousand other things.
If you improve your speaking ability, you pay your speaking forward and add to a better world.
So, paying your speaking forward involves offering your help even when not asked, using reciprocity to spur others to pay it forward, and adding to a better world.
Pay your speaking forward to make our world better!
Call to Action
Offer your speaking help before you are asked
Use reciprocity to motivate others to pay it forward
Use paying your speaking to better our world.
“We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.”
— Winston ChurchillFrank DiBartolomeo is a retired U.S. Air Force Lieutenant Colonel and award-winning speaker, presentation and interview skills coach, and Professional Member of the National Speakers Association. He was awarded Toastmasters International’s highest individual award, Distinguished Toastmaster because of his outstanding work in public speaking and leadership.
Frank formed DiBartolomeo Consulting International (DCI), LLC (www.speakleadandsucceed.com) in 2007. The mission of DCI is to help technical professionals to inspire, motivate, and influence their colleagues and other technical professionals through improving their presentation skills, communication, and personal presence. Frank can be reached at frank@speakleadandsucceed.com and (703) 509-4424.
Don’t miss Frank DiBartolomeo’s latest book!
“Speak Well and Prosper: Tips, Tools, and Techniques for Better Presentations”
Available now at Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com